Sunday, October 5, 2008

Don't Shoot the Messenger

For the child exploitation supporters: You may not agree with the reasons I felt that I needed to come forward, but I ask you to think long and hard about what you are actually defending. You don't have to agree with what I have said or why, how, when, etc. If you don't like what you read, then stop reading and move on. People have to be intentionally searching out information on the internet to run across my blog. I'm not forcing anyone to read it and as I said at the beginning, I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything. I'm making information available for those who are looking. Everyone can form their own opinions based on what they have seen and read.

I'd like to address some things I've seen being discussed about my blog:

"Airing dirty laundry"--this logic makes no sense to me. I have only responded to things that have been made public by J&K. For those who say I have given "every detail", that's just ridiculous! I've known the family for 12+ yrs, and I haven't said a word about anything that has happened in all of that time. I haven't given details about Kate's relationship with her parents, sisters, or past things that involve Jodi/Kevin. I have only scratched the surface with information about the show or behind the scenes events. It's not like I am approaching everyone I come in contact with and ask them if they watch the show and then start dishing the dirt. I am putting some information about a few issues in a blog. I have chosen very specific things to write about because they all relate back to the reason that these children need laws to protect them. Nothing and no one can stop J&K from getting what they want, even if it is at the expense of the children's well-being. Now or in the future.

"We don't know J&K's side"--WHAT?? This one really gets to me! I am responding to THEIR side of the story. They have a TV show, website, TLC website, speaking engagements, talk show appearances, etc. They have the forum to address whatever they want/however they want. Many people have started catching them in their lies or have a gut feeling that things aren't adding up while watching the show. They are sending people to the internet to search for answers.

Let's look at the "Burning Questions" in the recent article in People. They had the opportunity to tell the truth, but they chose not to. I am responding to what THEY have said publicly.

Do They Have Any Help?

Answer: A cleaning lady comes every other week, and a young woman occasionally helps with errands. Beyond that, "this is my personal chef," says Jon of Kate, "my personal housekeeper too."

The Truth: They have a cleaning service AND someone who also does spot cleaning/organizing in between. They have someone who irons and puts away their laundry. Jon has said that Jenny is on the payroll for 30 hrs/week to help with the kids and errands. If they don't have a personal chef, then I wonder who prepared the dinner that my parents ate (leftovers)when they were watching Jodi's kids when she was traveling for the show? Why were they told that the meal was prepared by their personal chef? Who made and delivered the food when Jodi and Kevin were watching the kids while J&K were away for the hair plugs? Who prepares a weeks worth of meals and delivers them along with wine and fresh cut flowers? Who brings bags of groceries/produce from the whole foods store?

As I said before, why not just be honest about the amount of help that they have? Or even say nothing. Why pretend that they do it all alone? Why pretend that they clip coupons, use layaway and save up for special outings? Why try to make people believe they are just a normal family who is struggling to get by? So the viewers can relate to them? I would venture to guess that most of the viewers have never had cosmetic procedures and the number of outings/vacations that we have seen over the last year. I'd guess that most of the viewers wouldn't be shopping for property worth well over a million dollars.

As I said before, being a mother of twin and sextuplets would be a piece of cake if you didn't have to do any of the things that most mothers do. And now, just because Kate is the mother of 8, that makes her an expert on cooking and organizing? I have yet to see an original recipe or organizing idea from her. What a joke!

Where Are The Kids' Grandparents?

Answer: "My mom lives far away," explains Jon, whose father died in 2005. "We just don't see her as much now, and Kate's parents choose not to be involved." The couple's siblings-she is one of five kids, he is one of three-also don't want to be in the spotlight. "People don't always understand us," says Kate. "Even friends, relatives, family, neighbors."

The Truth: Although I'm not going to get into the specifics of the family dynamics, I can assure you that most of this statement is not true. You now know the truth behind why Jodi and Kevin have been cut off. Just because others may not want to be in the "spotlight" shouldn't mean that they can't have a relationship with the kids "off camera".

The truth in their answer, "People don't always understand us".

"15 mins of fame"--if that were the case, don't you think I would have gone out and tried to sell my story? I put information on a blog. This certainly hasn't been a pleasant experience for me in some ways, but I have also found a lot of support that I wasn't expecting. I knew what some of the responses were going to be and that's why I chose the name for my blog. People love to "shoot the messenger", and I knew I would be the target of alot of hate.

"You're just jealous"--what is there to be jealous of--having 8 kids? Having a production company dictate my life? Having no friends or family relationships? Having no privacy? I can't think of one thing they have that's worth the price the kids are paying. I don't need to have 8 kids to know that I would never sell my children's privacy to the highest bidder. There are more important things in life than fame and fortune. J&K are putting their kids on display in exchange for a lifestyle that they wanted but couldn't afford. The children are working and supporting their parents. They aren't the first family to have 8 kids. They aren't the only family with 2 sets of multiples. They aren't the only family with sextuplets. They did not NEED the show to survive. There is no reason that they couldn't both work to support their family. That's what productive members of society do.

"Until you walk in their shoes..."--I don't need to have twins and sextuplets to see that their interactions with each other and the kids are damaging. It's ridiculous to compare stress. Their behavior is excused because they are stressed by having 8 kids? Stress is stress no matter what the circumstances are.

What about the single parent who is working to support their family and juggling it all on their own? What about the families who have both parents working (some with multiple jobs) and are still struggling to make ends meet? What about the military families who are separated from their spouses and/or children for months or sometimes a year at a time? What about families who have to deal with disabilities or chronic illnesses? I can think of many situations that cause stress on families. Is there anyone who doesn't have some sort of stress in their life?

Does that give everyone the right to react to their stress the way J&K do? I'm offended that the media tries to make us believe their relationship is "real" and "honest" and a normal depiction of what most marriages are. You could have cameras on me 24/7 and would never hear me speak to my husband the way Kate talks to Jon. I'm not saying our marriage is perfect, but we have a mutual respect for each other. There is a huge problem in society if their marriage is an example of what is "normal".

A mother's hurtful words can damage a child for a lifetime. One of the reasons I stopped watching the show was because I couldn't stand to see the way Jon and Kate treat each other and their children. We're not just seeing their worst moments all edited together. The show is a true depiction of their relationships and they have said that they are the same with and without the cameras. I know that their behavior is even worse than what is shown on TV. Eight children is no excuse!